God's Grace Once More...

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Every story has an ending,
but in life, every ending is a new beginning.

I was in a dilemma.
I was scared.

This is a harsh world.
Life is definitely, not a bed of roses.
Even if it’s a bed of roses,
do remember that roses have thorns too.

That was when I learned to grow up.

God did not promise me life to be a bed of roses. He did not answer my prayers in the time that I felt He should. In fact He was trying to show me something even greater than I could ever imagine, see, hear or think about.

On 27 October 2006, my mom underwent a major eye operation. I prayed so hard that night when my sister told me the news, overpowered by fear of losing my mom during the operation. I reminiscence the times my mom showered me with love in her special way. She never hesitated in disciplining me when I was naughty but always apologised and comforted me with soothing words of wisdom after that. When I was bullied in school, she would step in to shelter and protect me. When I needed help, she would go all out to look for solutions. When I was sick, she stayed up throughout the night to restore me back to health. When I was having exams, she stayed up studying with me and praying for me. When I got good results, she never failed to compliment me and celebrate with me. When I am in Singapore, she doesn’t stop thinking and praying for me. Every time when I come home, she would ask me if I am fine, living well, not starving myself, coping well with my course, having enough money to spend etc. In tears and trust, I beseeched and pleaded God to help her pull through the operation.

Ever since the operation took place, my family’s life took a big turnover. My sister was in the midst of sitting for her SPM examination. I was doing my internship. My mom was physically unable to take care of our needs. We, not only have to be more responsible to take care of ourselves, but also to take care of mom’s every need. Mom was to rest at home on bed for at least a month or even more. If her eye condition were to worsen during this critical period, she would be blind for the rest of her life.

Upon hearing this, my mom was extremely frightened and mentally unstable. She was afraid of not being able to see her children and all her loved ones anymore. She was worried if she did not get well, she would not be able to take care of us in future. She had insomnia every night thinking about her illness, eventually she fell into the pit of depression. Life was certainly not easy for us.

Just when I thought life was bad enough for my family, my sister sent me a brief email on 11 January 2007. I became numb and nauseated. The more I read, the more I fought with tears, frustration, disappointments, and anguish.

It read, “Jie, don’t phone or sms into mom’s hp because she and dad were robbed on Monday on their way home after her hospital appointment. Very terrible and shocking experience for them, especially mom…2 Indians armed with 5 feet long parang knives broke all the windows of our car. One of them slashed mom on the left arm and snatched away her handbag and dad’s small bag. For the rest of the story will tell you when you come back. It was really God’s miracle…”

I dreamt to see my mom happy and well again. But nothing is for certain in life. It feels like someone has lowered the curtain to the theatre of my dreams. I cried the night, stumbled, crumbled, and at last, sinking to my knees.

I cried out in despair, questioning God why He allows tragedies to happen to my family, why didn’t He answer my prayers, but adding more salt on our scrapped, still bleeding wounds instead. Somehow His Words didn’t make sense in my head. His promise that He will never forsake me seemed so vague and unauthentic. I wondered how long would this consuming darkness last till my family get to the light.

There was just too much that time could not erase as I raged in His silence
I wondered, is He actually there, or does He really care?

I did not understand what God was showing me. I only knew how badly I wanted to see a miracle happen, how badly I wanted God to remind me again how much He loves me, and rekindle my first love for Him.

My sister’s mere mention in her email that “It was really God’s miracle” pulled me back to thank Him for sparing my parents’ life. He knew that it would be hard for me to manage my family if He were to take both my parents away during the robbery. My siblings are still in school. The responsibility of taking care of them would naturally fall on my shoulders since I am the eldest.

Thinking that that was what my sister meant when she said “It was really God’s miracle”, I was still wondering why God had to even allow such traumatic experience to happen to mom when she was already antagonised by the news that she would be blind. Little did I know that God had already performed a big miracle for my family, something that nobody could ever imagine, which was “the rest of the story” my sister did not mention in her email.

The live “James Bond” movie went like this. My parents were on their way back from the general hospital after my mom’s medical appointment with the doctor. On their way home, they dropped by my grandpa’s house, hoping to bring him out for lunch. However, my grandpa was not at home. Just when my dad was about to make a move from the house, 3 cars approached and prevented my parents from driving away- one in front, one behind and one by the side of our car. 2 huge, hooded Indians came out from one of the cars and without a word, began smashing our car windows with their 5-feet long parang knives. Then they went to my mom’s side and tried to snatch away her handbag. Frightened, my mom screamed for help. Perhaps fearing for their own lives, nobody from the neighbourhood came out to help. Hearing my mom’s screams, the brutal robbers slashed my mom’s left arm with their parang and immediately blood gushed out from the wound. The robbers managed to grab my mom’s handbag and sped away.
Within a few minutes later, the robbers came back to the scene of the robbery, shamelessly. This time, they took the car keys and my dad’s clutched bag and did a thorough check in our car to ensure they have taken everything before going away. My mom lost her handphone, doctor’s letters, personal documents and money. My dad lost his Bible, church bulletins, church keys and some other personal documents.

After that, my mom was sent to get her badly wounded arm treated, while my dad went to the police station to lodge a police report. Still in a shock and very uncertain about the next step, my dad broke down and prayed,

“Lord Jesus, I do not know what to do now, I’m totally helpless. Please prove to me that You are a living God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I do not know how You are going to do it, but please bring our important documents back to us. I cry out in Jesus Christ’s most precious name, Amen.”

Knowing that the robbers are usually only interested in the money and valuable items, my dad was hoping some “good Samaritans” who found the lost items by the roadside will send the important documents to the police station or inform my parents to collect it somewhere. The moment my dad’s finished praying, something really amazing that we could never expect or imagine happened.

My mom phoned back home, only to find out that someone has dropped her handbag and dad’s clutched bag at our house. Before knowing what happened to my parents, my sister noticed a car stopped in front of our house. Thinking that the car belongs to our neighbour or their friends, my sister ignored it. It stopped there for quite some time, before driving to the side of my house and threw something into our house compound. Irritated by the behaviour of some inconsiderate people who like to throw their rubbish into other people’s house, my sister was annoyed when she saw the “rubbish”. Surprised, she told my mom about her findings when mom phoned.

It was like express post. The person found out our home address and sent back my parent’s lost documents and bags to our house in less than an hours’ time after the robbery, even before the victims reached home! It was considered extremely fast, because my grandpa’s house was half an hour’s drive away from our house.

Although my mom’s handphone and money were still missing on that day, my family was thankful that all the important documents and everything in dad’s clutched bag were returned untouched. God answered my dad’s prayer exactly and instantly!

As my family thought that was the finale of this “action movie” episode, God was not done with His miraculous plans. The next morning after the robbery, just when my dad was leaving the house to go to the mechanic to check on our damaged car, he found a small plastic bag right in front at our door step. Curious what was inside the bag, my dad opened it. Lo and behold, inside were my mom’s handphone wrapped nicely with sponge and a bag of paper notes and coins amounting to 3 hundred over dollars! My mom got all her belongings back safely, except for her handphone SIM card, which the robbers might have lost it along the way. Can anyone imagine those unruly robbers who would readily kill anyone who gets in their way, would bother to take the trouble and risk to come to our house twice just to return everything to us?

I am so amazed and touched by how God works. He actually cares, and He loves us. God's promises are true, but His timing is not the same as ours. God always wants greater glory than what we might be willing to give Him. God puts obstacles and adversity into our lives in order to build perseverance and faith. Why has God put the mountain in my life? I now fully understand it was to demonstrate His power through my life and to show His glory.

He cradled me. He understands me and embraces my fragility and in His arms I find the strength to get up with my life once more.

That was not the first or the last miracle God has done for our family. That was also not the first or the last prayer God has answered in my life. God certainly honours the prayers of parents and His servants. He answered my parents’ prayers. God closed almost all the doors for Eliza to study medicine after SPM. Just when we thought Eliza has no chance for medical scholarship, again He amazed us by granting her the most-difficult-to-get scholarship in Malaysia, JPA to study medicine overseas. Eliza’s and my dream to go for missions can be realised after all. After what has happened to our mom and a few people around us, God showed us the fragility of life, He gave us different talents to serve Him in every aspect and Eliza’s purpose is to serve Him in the medical field.

That is one of the most wonderful blessings He has given our family, one that has changed our lives altogether. All we had to do was simply ask, trusting for His answer.

Jesus, I know You are standing by my side. When I think back on these times, when I look back on these days, I'll be glad because I was blessed to get to have you in my life. I'll look and see Your face, You were right there for me. This is a long, long journey and I need to be close to You.

Isaiah 23:19
“God is not a man, that He should lie, or a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not fulfil it?”