What Men Live By

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"-Matthew 4:4

Wednesday, March 02, 2011


I thank my God every time I remember you. -Philippians 1:3

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Family Photos

I thank my God every time I remember you. -Philippians 1:3

This blog is almost dead. Will revamp it soon...

Uploaded some photos taken during Mom's and my birthday celebration. For viewing pleasure. :)

They are my beloved family!

(Front row: My sister Eliza, me, Mom
Back row: My brother Alexander, Dad
Missing in the picture: Youngest brother Abraham-- he's the photographer)
(4 children of the Au family- the youngest to the eldest)

My darling sister and me
(I'm going to miss her so much!)

That's all for now~ Till the next time I update my blog... God bless you!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

An Unreserved Love 爱是不保留

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

A Valentine's Day Special Song Dedication for my Lord, my Lover, my Prince

Sung by : 关心妍

The original version is sung in Cantonese though, this is the English version. I really like this song, hope you will enjoy listening to it and be blessed too!

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Sung by: 彭家丽,王祖蓝



(女)願 意 相 信,   


(男)願 意 相 信,

God is love, and to be in love I must first learn to love Him and myself, to know what is to be in love and truely love. If I believe in Him, everything is in His hands, nothing is too early or too late, all i have to do is to follow and obey His will for me.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Prayer of St. Francis

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, Let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, Joy.

O Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled As to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

During this Christmas season, a season of love and giving, once again I really pray that God will make me an instrument of His Peace and Love.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tomorrow Will Be Better (English Version)

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

明天会更好英文版(English Version)
Tomorrow will be Better - -Stars

明天会更好 Tomorrow Will Be Better

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Sung by Timi Zhuo 卓依婷


Very nice song, child-like. Yes, tomorrow will be better, I believe so, nothing is impossible in God.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Long-Lasting Relationship

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

- By Christine Tan

A picture of perfect love is a loving couple committed to one another despite the circumstances. However, in the world today, break-ups and divorces are prevalent, and circumstances often determine a couple's commitment rather than vice-versa. Many couples change partners casually and often too frequently. The trend perceived is that the wisest (and perhaps "coolest") thing to do is to have many partners, so as to find the "right" one for your life. Apart from our grandparent's generation of matchmaking, it is rare to find a couple whose first love becomes their eventual life partner.

Q: Lasting relationships are rare in today's culture. Why do you think someone should stay committed in a relationship and not jump from one person to another?

Our hearts are valuable. We should not settle for the second best. A lot of people jump into relationships because they need affection and love to fill the emptiness of their hearts. If we commit ourselves loosely in a relationship, we will inevitably end up being hurt again and again. As a result, we will carry our scars and burdens from one relationship to another.

Does perfect love exist? Yes, I believe it does. When we are loved by the Perfect Lover, Jesus Christ, can we truly know how to love each other.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." --1 John 4:7-10

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Is Premarital Sex a Sin?

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

I'm pretty disturbed by the ways many young people are living nowadays, from the conversations I had with some people I happened to know randomly. If you think I must be some not open-minded elderly person, then you're wrong. For your info, I'm only 22 this year!

Here are some questions asked concerning premarital sex:

"Is it okay to have sex if you're totally in love with each other, and you're totally certain that you're going to marry each other and spend the rest of your lives together (especially if you're engaged to be married)? What if you're over 30 (or 40), or what if you had previously been married before? Is premarital sex okay at that point?"

Notice that after you are married, then sex is appropriate between you and your spouse. But before you are married it is still premarital sex (fornication). So if premarital sex is a sin, then it is a sin up until the moment you are married. The New Testament never says that if you're totally in love with each other and you're committed to each other and you're certain that you will get married and spend the rest of your lives together, then premarital sex is okay. The New Testament also never says that premarital sex is okay if you're over a certain age limit, or if you had previously been married before, or anything like that. Sorry, but there are no "loopholes"!

Also, consider that there are many people who were engaged to be married, and who expected to spend the rest of their lives together, but then they broke up. Some of them gave their virginity to each other because they were certain that they were going to get married, and they ended up regretting that they gave up their virginity to the wrong person. Life is full of uncertainties, and you're not married until you're married!

"Is oral sex okay? Is "petting" okay? Is it okay to see each other naked?"

It is human nature to want to know how far we can go without "crossing the line," but remember what the New Testament says:
1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality."
In the above passage we are told to run away from sexual immorality. Therefore, the best thing to do is not to get anywhere near "crossing the line." Our analytical minds want to know if it is safe for us to fondle and touch each other sexually (even fully clothed), or to have oral sex instead of intercourse, or to see each other naked, etc., but notice that those are not the attitudes that the Bible describes. All of those things will increase our desire and temptation to have sex, but the Bible says to run away from those temptations. Therefore, it's best to avoid any situations which will cause sexual temptation, such as touching each other sexually, being naked (or near naked) with each other, or sometimes even just being alone together. This can sometimes be difficult to do when our emotions (and hormones) are flying high for that special person, but try to keep in mind that when we follow God's plan then everything always works out for the best, in amazing ways!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Examine your ways!

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

~Bishop E. Earl Jenkins~

"Let us examine our ways." Lamentations 3:40 NIV

A guy rushed into a service station one day and asked the manager if he'd a pay phone. The manager nodded, "Sure, over there." The guy inserted a couple of coins, dialed and waited for an answer. Finally someone came on the line. "Uh, sir," he said in a deep voice, "could you use an honest, hard-working young man?" The station manager couldn't help overhearing the question. After a moment or two the guy said, "Oh, you already have an honest, hard-working young man? Well, okay. Thanks all the same." A broad smile stretched across his face. He hung up the phone and started back to his car, obviously elated. "Hey, just a minute," the station manager said, "I couldn't help but hear your conversation. Why are you so happy? I thought the man said he already had someone and didn't need you?" The guy smiled. "Well, you see, I am that honest, hard-working young man. I was just checking up on myself!"

If you're serious about walking with God, examine yourself regularly. Are you praying, reading God's Word and renewing your mind daily? How about your attitudes? Are they slipping? Your attitudes send a signal before you've said a word. They're like traffic lights. Sometimes they flash red, which means 'stop, don't get in my way, I'm too busy to love, help, or care.' Sometimes they flash yellow, which means 'I'm touchy and out-of-sorts, I could go either way.' Sometimes they flash green, which means, 'Let's go, I'm with you, you can count on me.' The Bible says, "Let us examine our ways...and...return to the Lord."

What needs to be examined regularly? "Our ways!"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Carrot, An Egg and A Cup of Coffee

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee (we all fall into one of these categories)

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water.

Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

-- Lyrics by: 紀私亭 Music: 光榮 Sung by: 容祖兒--

遇到爱 不懂爱
从过去 到现在
明白没人能取代 他曾给我的信赖

See Me Fly I'm Proud To Fly Up High
不能一直依赖 别人给我拥戴
Believe Me I Can Fly I Am Singing In The Sky
就算风雨覆盖 我也不怕重来

遇到爱 用力爱
人心 真爱
风雨来 不避开

See Me Fly
I'm Proud To Fly Up High
生命已经打开 我要你总精彩
Believe Me I Can Fly
I Am Singing In The Sky

世界乘你兜风 Let Me Fly
我不会孤单 因为你都在

This is how I feel now.. I want to be brave and fly again. And I can fly as high as I think I can, with Jesus as the wind beneath my wings.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I realise...

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

I realise...

1. In order to survive in this world, you must know who to please.

2. Sometimes no matter how good your performance is, if someone doesn't like you, you're out! Nobody is indispensable.

3. Even if you don't feel like pleasing that someone, you just have to put on your masquerade.

4. This is a world where only the fittest survive, absolutely no compassion towards those who are "weak".

5. One grave mistake and you have to bear the consequences forever (as long as you don't get out of that place).

6. Nothing is predictable.

7. Don't be too smart. Sometimes it's good to just act stupid.


I'm glad my God is a God of love, not a God of prejudice and favoritism.

Father, I'm so tired of this world... Grant me a heart of love and teach me how to see things through Your eyes.

Monday, March 31, 2008


I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Thought provoking story my friend emailed me. Read it till the end.

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. 'I wowed 'em,' he later told his father, Bruce. 'It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote..' It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. 'I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,' Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. 'I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.'

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'-Phil. 4:13 'For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' If you feel the same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also My 'People I shared the gospel with' file just got bigger, how about yours?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Without EASTER,

CHRISTMAS will have no meaning,


GOOD FRIDAY has no purpose.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

How's Your Form?

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

God said, I will form man in my image.

The world says, We must conform man to our image.

The Devil says, I will deform man by sin.

Education says, I will inform man by knowledge.

Society says, We will reform man by culture.

Jesus Christ says, I will transform man by love.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Raw Fish Salad toss – a biblical approach

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

One of my friends shared this with me, I think this is interesting (This has never crossed my mind before)! An approach in Christian aspect...

Vegetables (carrots) & fruits (pomelo)
Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.

Ezekiel 47:12
Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.

Spices (Cinnamon, pepper)
Songs of Songs 4:13-16
Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices.
You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread abroad.

Psalms 45:6-7
Your throne, O God, will last forever and ever, a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom. You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.

Plum Sauce (Honey)
Leviticus 20:24
Bit I said to you, “ You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey. I am the LORD your God, who has set you apart from the nations”.

Sesame seeds, Peanuts
Is 61:11
For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

Cracker (flour)
1 Kings 17:14-16
For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.’ She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food for every day.

Raw Fish (Prosperity)
Mark 6:41-43
Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them al. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Love & Life

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

This story tells us something about.....


My husband is an engineer by profession. I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased.

Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.... If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind."

Let's say; I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"

He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...."

My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but .... please allow me to explain the reasons further....."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs.

So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting ... and as I continue reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk..."

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE.

When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands ... AND THAT'S LIFE

The happiest people in the world... are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

LOVE is not just between two lovers, husband and wife--it also encompasses mother, father and siblings, sisters and brothers, friends and neighbours!

--author unknown

A very "inspiring" story and a reminder for us who are always lost in our "sentimental self" that we neglect the "small unnoticable deeds" that "touch" us in our daily life through our loved ones. Hence taking them for granted and "misunderstood" their concern and care.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Vulnerability of Life

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Lately, I have been thinking much about the vulnerability of life.

My lower secondary school best friend's mom has just passed away. When my brother broke the news to me, I was surprised, but never had it dawn on me that she passed away because she met with an accident. My friend's mom was a cancer patient. She had to take many years of sick leave before returning to school to teach again. She looked extremely thin when I last saw her. I thought she passed away due to her illness. I definitely could not believe my eyes when I read my mom's sms about her death. Pn. Chin passed away after meeting with an accident while crossing the road on Thursday night (23 August 2007). It must have been shocking for YR when she heard the news. Her mom will never be able to witness her graduate.

This is not the first fatal news I received. My own aunt was knocked down by a car while waiting for bus at the bus stop and she died after being sent to the general hospital. There may be some inside stories whether this is a mere accident or a deliberate murder. My little cousin (only in nursery then) who was beside her was badly injured, but his life was spared because his body was cushioned by his mother's body when they were hit. This incident left me deep impact.

I have been taking things for granted. God has been protecting me and my family all along. For this year only, so many a time, we escaped death merely by a few seconds. I ran across roads hastily to board the bus without waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. My mom and sister was knocked down by a motorcyclist just a few months ago. Robbers tried to rob and kill my parents early this year. That was not all. God has put me into plights, tested my patience etc but yet, He has never once left me. He showed me love through nature, family, friends, and even strangers! I should be more grateful...

James 4:13~

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit."
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and also do this or that."

Indeed, how true is the Words in the Bible...

Friday, August 10, 2007

God's Grace Once More...

I thank my God every time I remember you.
-Philippians 1:3

Every story has an ending,
but in life, every ending is a new beginning.

I was in a dilemma.
I was scared.

This is a harsh world.
Life is definitely, not a bed of roses.
Even if it’s a bed of roses,
do remember that roses have thorns too.

That was when I learned to grow up.

God did not promise me life to be a bed of roses. He did not answer my prayers in the time that I felt He should. In fact He was trying to show me something even greater than I could ever imagine, see, hear or think about.

On 27 October 2006, my mom underwent a major eye operation. I prayed so hard that night when my sister told me the news, overpowered by fear of losing my mom during the operation. I reminiscence the times my mom showered me with love in her special way. She never hesitated in disciplining me when I was naughty but always apologised and comforted me with soothing words of wisdom after that. When I was bullied in school, she would step in to shelter and protect me. When I needed help, she would go all out to look for solutions. When I was sick, she stayed up throughout the night to restore me back to health. When I was having exams, she stayed up studying with me and praying for me. When I got good results, she never failed to compliment me and celebrate with me. When I am in Singapore, she doesn’t stop thinking and praying for me. Every time when I come home, she would ask me if I am fine, living well, not starving myself, coping well with my course, having enough money to spend etc. In tears and trust, I beseeched and pleaded God to help her pull through the operation.

Ever since the operation took place, my family’s life took a big turnover. My sister was in the midst of sitting for her SPM examination. I was doing my internship. My mom was physically unable to take care of our needs. We, not only have to be more responsible to take care of ourselves, but also to take care of mom’s every need. Mom was to rest at home on bed for at least a month or even more. If her eye condition were to worsen during this critical period, she would be blind for the rest of her life.

Upon hearing this, my mom was extremely frightened and mentally unstable. She was afraid of not being able to see her children and all her loved ones anymore. She was worried if she did not get well, she would not be able to take care of us in future. She had insomnia every night thinking about her illness, eventually she fell into the pit of depression. Life was certainly not easy for us.

Just when I thought life was bad enough for my family, my sister sent me a brief email on 11 January 2007. I became numb and nauseated. The more I read, the more I fought with tears, frustration, disappointments, and anguish.

It read, “
Jie, don’t phone or sms into mom’s hp because she and dad were robbed on Monday on their way home after her hospital appointment. Very terrible and shocking experience for them, especially mom…2 Indians armed with 5 feet long parang knives broke all the windows of our car. One of them slashed mom on the left arm and snatched away her handbag and dad’s small bag. For the rest of the story will tell you when you come back. It was really God’s miracle…

I dreamt to see my mom happy and well again. But nothing is for certain in life. It feels like someone has lowered the curtain to the theatre of my dreams. I cried the night, stumbled, crumbled, and at last, sinking to my knees.

I cried out in despair, questioning God why He allows tragedies to happen to my family, why didn’t He answer my prayers, but adding more salt on our scrapped, still bleeding wounds instead. Somehow His Words didn’t make sense in my head. His promise that He will never forsake me seemed so vague and unauthentic. I wondered how long would this consuming darkness last till my family get to the light.

There was just too much that time could not erase as I raged in His silence
I wondered, is He actually there, or does He really care?

I did not understand what God was showing me. I only knew how badly I wanted to see a miracle happen, how badly I wanted God to remind me again how much He loves me, and rekindle my first love for Him.

My sister’s mere mention in her email that “
It was really God’s miracle” pulled me back to thank Him for sparing my parents’ life. He knew that it would be hard for me to manage my family if He were to take both my parents away during the robbery. My siblings are still in school. The responsibility of taking care of them would naturally fall on my shoulders since I am the eldest.

Thinking that that was what my sister meant when she said “
It was really God’s miracle”, I was still wondering why God had to even allow such traumatic experience to happen to mom when she was already antagonised by the news that she would be blind. Little did I know that God had already performed a big miracle for my family, something that nobody could ever imagine, which was “the rest of the story” my sister did not mention in her email.

The live “James Bond” movie went like this. My parents were on their way back from the general hospital after my mom’s medical appointment with the doctor. On their way home, they dropped by my grandpa’s house, hoping to bring him out for lunch. However, my grandpa was not at home. Just when my dad was about to make a move from the house, 3 cars approached and prevented my parents from driving away- one in front, one behind and one by the side of our car. 2 huge, hooded Indians came out from one of the cars and without a word, began smashing our car windows with their 5-feet long parang knives. Then they went to my mom’s side and tried to snatch away her handbag. Frightened, my mom screamed for help. Perhaps fearing for their own lives, nobody from the neighbourhood came out to help. Hearing my mom’s screams, the brutal robbers slashed my mom’s left arm with their parang and immediately blood gushed out from the wound. The robbers managed to grab my mom’s handbag and sped away.
Within a few minutes later, the robbers came back to the scene of the robbery, shamelessly. This time, they took the car keys and my dad’s clutched bag and did a thorough check in our car to ensure they have taken everything before going away. My mom lost her handphone, doctor’s letters, personal documents and money. My dad lost his Bible, church bulletins, church keys and some other personal documents.

After that, my mom was sent to get her badly wounded arm treated, while my dad went to the police station to lodge a police report. Still in a shock and very uncertain about the next step, my dad broke down and prayed,

“Lord Jesus, I do not know what to do now, I’m totally helpless. Please prove to me that You are a living God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I do not know how You are going to do it, but please bring our important documents back to us. I cry out in Jesus Christ’s most precious name, Amen.”

Knowing that the robbers are usually only interested in the money and valuable items, my dad was hoping some “good Samaritans” who found the lost items by the roadside will send the important documents to the police station or inform my parents to collect it somewhere. The moment my dad’s finished praying, something really amazing that we could never expect or imagine happened.

My mom phoned back home, only to find out that someone has dropped her handbag and dad’s clutched bag at our house. Before knowing what happened to my parents, my sister noticed a car stopped in front of our house. Thinking that the car belongs to our neighbour or their friends, my sister ignored it. It stopped there for quite some time, before driving to the side of my house and threw something into our house compound. Irritated by the behaviour of some inconsiderate people who like to throw their rubbish into other people’s house, my sister was annoyed when she saw the “rubbish”. Surprised, she told my mom about her findings when mom phoned.

It was like express post. The person found out our home address and sent back my parent’s lost documents and bags to our house in less than an hours’ time after the robbery, even before the victims reached home! It was considered extremely fast, because my grandpa’s house was half an hour’s drive away from our house.

Although my mom’s handphone and money were still missing on that day, my family was thankful that all the important documents and everything in dad’s clutched bag were returned untouched. God answered my dad’s prayer exactly and instantly!

As my family thought that was the finale of this “action movie” episode, God was not done with His miraculous plans. The next morning after the robbery, just when my dad was leaving the house to go to the mechanic to check on our damaged car, he found a small plastic bag right in front at our door step. Curious what was inside the bag, my dad opened it. Lo and behold, inside were my mom’s handphone wrapped nicely with sponge and a bag of paper notes and coins amounting to 3 hundred over dollars! My mom got all her belongings back safely, except for her handphone SIM card, which the robbers might have lost it along the way. Can anyone imagine those unruly robbers who would readily kill anyone who gets in their way, would bother to take the trouble and risk to come to our house twice just to return everything to us?

I am so amazed and touched by how God works. He actually cares, and He loves us. God's promises are true, but His timing is not the same as ours. God always wants greater glory than what we might be willing to give Him. God puts obstacles and adversity into our lives in order to build perseverance and faith. Why has God put the mountain in my life? I now fully understand it was to demonstrate His power through my life and to show His glory.

He cradled me. He understands me and embraces my fragility and in His arms I find the strength to get up with my life once more.

That was not the first or the last miracle God has done for our family. That was also not the first or the last prayer God has answered in my life. God certainly honours the prayers of parents and His servants. He answered my parents’ prayers. God closed almost all the doors for Eliza to study medicine after SPM. Just when we thought Eliza has no chance for medical scholarship, again He amazed us by granting her the most-difficult-to-get scholarship in Malaysia, JPA to study medicine overseas. Eliza’s and my dream to go for missions can be realised after all. After what has happened to our mom and a few people around us, God showed us the fragility of life, He gave us different talents to serve Him in every aspect and Eliza’s purpose is to serve Him in the medical field.

That is one of the most wonderful blessings He has given our family, one that has changed our lives altogether. All we had to do was simply ask, trusting for His answer.

Jesus, I know You are standing by my side. When I think back on these times, when I look back on these days, I'll be glad because I was blessed to get to have you in my life. I'll look and see Your face, You were right there for me. This is a long, long journey and I need to be close to You.

Isaiah 23:19
“God is not a man, that He should lie, or a son of man, that He should repent.
Has He said, and will He not fulfil it?”